Red Eyes, Warm Heart
by Love's-Sweet-Exile
Summary: 'Last chance, Riley,' Edward whispered. 'Okay,' Riley replied nervously, stepping forwards and turning his back on Victoria. When Riley chooses the Cullens, his life falls into jeopardy, and only Bella seems able to help him back to his feet. Please read!
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, this is a totally random idea, so PLEASE review with your thoughts, good or bad, so I know whether to continue it or not.**

**Really hope you like it, and it's late, so forgive typos etc :P**

Chapter 1

**Bella POV**

Riley Biers was shaking, but I could feel no sympathy. None of the compassion Edward and the others seemed to have – all I saw before me was the vampire that had tried, and very nearly succeeded, to kill us.

'Do you need anything?' Carlisle murmured, breaking the silence in the Cullens' home and making me jump slightly.

The boy shook his head and resumed his trembling, making me sigh and pull out my phone. 'I need to call Charlie,' I muttered to Edward, and he kissed my forehead gently, his fingers tracing my cheek.

'Don't be long,' he whispered, 'I need you.'

I nodded, stepping out into the hall and dialling Charlie's number, wondering if I could steady my voice enough to offer a convincing lie. 'Hey, Charlie,' I said, trying to sound as bright as possible.

'Hey Bells, it's late – where are you?'

Why hadn't I thought of an idea _before_ calling him? I cursed myself mentally for a second before inventing: 'Alice went a bit overboard with the make-overs, I'm gonna stay an extra night if that's okay?'

'Sure Bells, you feelin' alright though? You sound a little like you've been cryin'!'

'I'm fine, it's just all this mascara's making my eyes sting,' I laughed falsely, 'I'll see you tomorrow, Charlie.'

'Okay Bells, take care.'

'Bye,' I hung up quickly, flipping the phone shut and looking around the hall. It was white and airy, and though it was dark outside it felt like daylight with the softly glowing lamps. I took a deep breath before opening the living room door again and stepping back inside. 'Hey Edward,' I tasted his name on my lips, cherishing the fact that he was _mine_. It was difficult to ignore the slight whimper of pain that escaped Riley's lips as Edward pushed my hair behind my ears.

'Nice phone call?' Edward asked.

'I think he bought it,' I shrugged. 'What's with the shaking?' I added in a whisper, although I knew of course that Riley would hear me.

'It's hard... being in the same room as you,' Edward drew me back a little.

'So now _I_ have to leave?'

'Did I say that?' his lips curved up into an irresistible lop-sided smile.

'How can you be so _nice_ when he just tried to _kill_ us?' I hissed, not meaning to sound as aggressive as I did.

'Because I can feel everything he's feeling,' he replied quietly, 'his thoughts are crying!'

Carlisle walked slowly over to us, as Esme sat beside Riley and went to take his hand, which he snatched away before she could touch it. 'Edward, you're hungry – you should hunt,' Carlisle said softly, and I looked up into my love's black eyes, knowing he was right. 'There's nothing you can do here for now.'

'I'm not leaving her alone with _him_,' relied Edward, his voice cool.

'She won't _be_ alone, Edward. None of us are going anywhere, and it would only be a couple of hours.'

'Carlisle's right,' I hugged him gently, 'you should go now, otherwise you'll just spend another day being thirsty.'

'Okay,' he sighed, looking very reluctant. 'I'll be back as soon as I can,' he added, kissing me before disappearing at full speed.

'Are you okay with being here, Bella?' Carlisle asked me seriously, and I tried to look as indifferent as possible.

'I'm fine – do you guys have any food at all in your house though? I'm starving!'

'There's a fruit bowl in the kitchen,' he smiled, 'for show, but I promise it's all edible.'

'Why do you guys need stuff on show? You're the only ones who ever come in here!' I laughed.

'You never know what's round the corner,' he winked, 'can you get a bottle of blood from the fridge while you're out there?'

'Sure,' I said, forcing a smile and sparing a glance at Riley, who was sitting on the black leather sofa, still drenched with the rain that had hammered down on the way back to the house (travelling at human speed for my benefit). He looked up and caught my eye, still quivering, and his lip curled back a little from his teeth. I quickly looked away and hurried off into the kitchen, opening the silver fridge and finding it packed with glass bottles and little blood pouches. '_Ew_,' I muttered to myself, grabbing a glass bottle with a chink and quickly closing the door again.

On my way out of the kitchen I took an apple from the full fruit bowl, still marvelling at the Cullens' constant human charade. 'Here,' I handed Carlisle the bottle the second I was back in the room, but he gave it back immediately.

'Why don't you go and give it to him?'

'Err... because I'm human and he just tried to kill me,' I pointed out, but under Carlisle watchful gaze I sighed and walked over to the leather couch, holding out the bottle without looking at Riley. But to my great surprise, as I tensed for an attack, he slowly took it and muttered a thanks. At this, I couldn't resist looking, and saw that he was tracing patterns on the dusty bottle, his fingers black from dirt and blood still on his knuckles from the one feeble punch he'd thrown at Edward.

'Thank you,' he repeated, looking up at me with a clenched jaw and agonised eyes. I knew he was thanking me for more than just the bottle. Esme gently squeezed his shoulder, and he took a tiny sip from the bottle, shuddering.

'You'll get used to it,' she murmured, and I sat down on the armchair beside them, watching in fascination as Riley's eyes changed to a shade lighter under the influence of just a few drops of animal blood.

'Will I?' his voice was croaky, and for a split second I recognised the boy in the "Missing" posters, an intelligent kid my age without any cares in the world par graduation worries. For that second he was the real Riley, not the one who'd seen horrors beyond his years; been a _part_ of them.

'And it gets easier,' Jasper cut in from behind the couch, where he was standing, arms crossed, shoulders back, eyes watchful. He nodded to me, 'I know how you feel.'

'You don't know anything of how I feel,' Riley growled, but his eyes were still sad...terrified.

'Oh don't I? Raising an army of newborns under the order of someone I loved...someone I thought loved me. Being in _charge_ because I had the strength to _not die_. Killing the weak ones and training the strong ones until they started killing each other... created to kill. Sound familiar?' he raised his eyebrows.

'I d-don't understand,' Riley shrank back a little.

Jasper pulled up his sleeves to show the hundreds of crescent scars patterning his skin, '_look_ familiar?'

Riley pulled up his own sleeve with trembling fingers to show matching wounds, only redder...fresher. I winced, tracing my finger along my one vampire scar, rising above the skin on my wrist, and imagining the pain of hundreds. I looked slowly up into his bright crimson eyes and saw the tiniest of sparkles in them, little spots of light. I watched as he blinked and looked away, and jumped when I felt Edward's breath on the back of my neck. 'Having fun?' he smiled, and I dragged my thoughts from Riley and back to him.

**Pleasee review, it makes my day :D!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, update! I'm really glad that you guys liked the first chapter, and it got a great reception!**

**There was a couple of grammatical mistakes I noticed when re-reading the first chapter for details I needed to get right in this one. For example, at one point I said "Carlisle" instead of "Carlisle's", but it was late so that's my excuse!**

**This chapter is from Riley's POV, but discounts the Short Second Life of Bree Tanner, as I only read half of it before deciding I wasn't really enjoying it :L, so sorry if details are wrong!**

**Here we see Riley's character develop. Why? Because I _love_ him, and think Xavier is HOT! I'm definitely Team Riley for the liike two chapters he's in the book :P**

**Please review, I've never had so many alerts and favourites in my life! But reviews offer advice, encouragement, and the more reviews, the quicker the updates, since I prioritise my review to chapter ratio (nerdy, I know :P)**

**Even anonymous reviews are great! **

**So anyway, after this ridiculously long author's note, here's the story!**

Chapter 2

**Riley POV**

Everything hurt. My muscles ached, my throat burned with fire, my head span – dizzy and delirious, and the granite skin on my arms was scratched raw and red, from where my fingernails clawed over it.

'Riley,' a soft voice murmured, and I jerked away instinctively, hissing. Why? Because every word was a threat back at the camp – you never knew which would be the last you'd hear. 'Riley, you need to stop scratching your arm,' Mrs Cullen said quietly, pulling my hand away.

'Her name's Esme,' Edward said from the doorway, where he was leaning and picking his nails in handsome glory.

I shot him a filthy look. 'Stay _out_ of my _mind_,' I snarled.

'Or what?' He pushed away from the door.

'_Edward_,' Esme said warningly, and he settled back again, his eyes narrowed.

'You don't need to stand there watching me,' I said croakily after a moment, 'I'm not going to attack anyone.'

'Bella's upstairs with Alice,' he spoke to Esme rather than me, and I sighed, coughing groggily and sipping from a pungent tasting bottle of animal blood; the taste was repulsive, and I wretched a little as it ran through my veins, offering little energy. Edward snorted a little at this, and I clenched my jaw tightly, having to force myself not to throw the bottle at him.

'I don't understand,' I shuddered, 'why do you drink this? Why must _I_ drink it?'

'It's the only way,' the doctor said from the armchair, his blonde hair tousled from where he kept running his hand through it, 'the only way you can be one of us. It's a way of life, and it's hard, and it's fighting, and it's every day. But it's what is right.'

'Feels wrong,' I muttered, forcing a swallow. I coughed again, and Esme gently put her arm around my shoulders and pulled me to her. I rested my head against her shoulder, tracing my finger along a tear in my leather coat and wiping the rainwater off my face. I remembered the last time I had had someone to look after me, and my hands started to shake even more violently. Victoria had tried to make me kill my parents – but I burnt the house down, praying it would be enough for her, making sure that they were out at the time. I never found out if she knew the truth.

'You okay?' Jasper asked, as he appeared in the room with a stunning blonde girl.

'Just brilliant,' I smiled weakly, and the blonde shot me a look with narrowed eyes.

'Good,' his lips twitched upwards, 'this is Rosalie.'

'I'd say you could call me Rose, but it's a privilege I usually reserve for people who _haven't_ created armies to _kill_ us.'

'He was following orders, Rose,' Carlisle said softly, but I shook my head.

'No, she's right,' I said as loudly as I could, my voice harsh and croaky. 'I _did_ make an army to kill you, and I don't deserve any... any of this. And it hurts, it _really_ hurts, but I know what I did and I know there's no going back on it. I've killed enough of our kind not to want to do it again,' I flash-backed to a moment in the dark alleys of Seattle. There'd been a girl, barely fourteen, and I'd turned her a couple of weeks back. But she was too weak, too afraid to even feed – she giggled when I wrapped my iron arms around her, and screamed when they crushed her to pieces. Wincing at the memory, I sat up and ran a hand through my wet blonde hair.

Rosalie smiled a little, 'sincere, I suppose.'

'Sincere enougheven for _you_?' A huge hulk of a vampire lumbered into the room, wrapping his arms around her gently... he didn't even speck the skin. I wondered if I'd ever have the self control to do that; my arms were strongly muscled, more so than his as the blood of my human years still valiantly pumped away, with no use but to make me stronger. The newborn power was wearing off now, but I'd killed hundreds with those arms, they were stronger than diamond.

'Interesting analogy,' Edward murmured, but I didn't respond to him reading my thoughts this time – I figured I'd better learn to do what other people said; I wasn't in charge anymore. 'And appropriate for a vampire,' he continued, looking properly interested in me for the first time, 'after all, the only thing that can break diamond is another diamond.'

'Excuse me?' Carlisle raised his eyebrows.

'Diamond, it's the hardest substance in the world.'

'I said strongest,' I muttered.

Edward grinned at this, 'the _strongest_ substance in the world is spider's web.'

'Guess that doesn't apply to me,' I shrugged, my shaking barely noticeable now, and took another sip of the blood.

'The spider web is your emotions. Tangled and fragile on one hand, yet perfectly formed and incredibly strong on the other.'

'Deep,' Jasper laughed, and I joined in. With a leap in my heart of surprise (or at least it would have leaped had it been able to beat), I realised that it was the first time I had laughed since being _human_.

'That's sad,' Edward whispered, as he strolled slowly over, and I looked up into the intimidating gold eyes, 'nothing to laugh about for a _year_?'

'Draining the blood of the innocent and crushing my friends to death,' I replied coldly, 'buckets of laughs.'

He didn't say anything back, and the family started to talk among themselves. I picked at the black leather of the sofa, wet from where I had dripped rainwater on it. The room was huge, bigger than my old _house_, and the furniture elegant and antique; the walls were painted pale cream, and the floors were polished oak. Though the windows were huge and glass, there was no fear of the sun here, I trusted that. But the sunrise was starting to form, and I knew that in the first few rays I would burst to dust – maybe that was their plan?

'_What_?' Edward spun around.

'Huh?' I snapped out of my thoughts, flinching back.

'Burst into _dust_?'

'That's what Victoria said,' I mumbled, scratching at my arm.

Edward laughed aloud, making me cringe back into the leather. 'Sorry, sorry, it's just... you haven't been out into the sun since you were human?'

'Of course not,' I answered sulkily, sounding like the teenager I used to be. 'Why?'

'Look down!' He grinned, and my eyes travelled slowly down to my uninjured arm, visible up to the shoulder where the sleeve of my brown leather jacket had torn straight from shoulder to wrist. There was a split second of panic, as I saw a beam of light drift through the window from the setting sun and strike my skin. But then, _amazingly_, I started to laugh too, as the diamonds went from metaphorical to...to _real_.

My skin really _was_ diamonds, and Jasper pulled me to my feet, pushing me over to the window so that the rising sun lit my skin like a many faced crystal.

'Being a vampire _can_ be fun,' Edward smiled, but I was way too lost in the truth to think of anything else.

Victoria was lying. I'd see the sun again. I'd see the light.

**PLEASE review and tell me what you think! Anonymous reviews welcome, and sorry for any grammatical errors I made!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, this chapter was written in a rush as I remembered I'm going to Italy on Sunday and won't be able to update for a while!**

**it's quite short, but you guys seem to be enjoying the story so I hope you'll forgive me. **

**I've had several messages accusing me of stealing this idea from another writer, but I stand by it that when I uploaded this ff there were only 7 Riley/Bella stories on here and this was the only one with this plotline. So you know what, why don't you ask other writers if _they _stole the idea and have a look at publish dates before you make assumptions.**

**Sorry for the rant, I don't like having them but it was making me really angry and I very nearly stopped writing the fanfiction altogether.**

**But it's here, and I really hope that you enjoy it. Next chapter there will be dedications for certain reviewers in categories, so review!**

**Xx Zoo**

Chapter 3

**Bella POV**

Riley traced his fingers along my cheek, ice cold, and curved his hand through my hair.

'Riley, stop,' I whispered, but my own hands were at the buttons of his shirt, all fumbling fingers and still not quick enough.

'Why?' he smiled, his hand drifting down to the open neck of my lumberjack shirt and pressing against my heart. 'So warm,' his lips curled around the words, and I felt my pulse beating against his palm. 'So human,' the beating grew faster and heavier, so that my whole chest seemed to shake and I knew my ribcage would break.

With movements so quick that my eyes couldn't follow them, his fingers closed too hard around my neck, pressing on my arteries and breaking the skin so that blood trickled down my neck. 'Riley,' I breathed, but I was growing weaker, and I screamed aloud as the bones in my neck collapsed with a huge crack and explosion of pain.

'Bella, _Bella_!' Edward was shaking me, and I jerked awake, immediately pressing my fingers to my neck and relaxing as I felt it intact. 'It's okay,' he murmured, as I rolled over into his arms, 'just a nightmare.'

'I know,' I shook my head, kissing his chest and resting my forehead into the hollow of his neck. 'You _really_ shouldn't be here – if Charlie heard me screaming, he'll be in any minute!'

'I can read his mind, Bella,' he rolled his eyes.

#

**Riley POV**

The Cullens had seemed a little shocked when I asked them if they had a shower.

I took off my leather jacket slowly, scratching against the cracks in my skin, and dropped it on the sofa in my new room. My hands no longer shook as I slowly unbuttoned my shirt, but that didn't mean I wasn't trembling inside. Everything here was different, almost _human_. I pushed open the bathroom door and stepped into the unused shower.

The dial turned with the slightest touch, and ice cold water began to run down my chest, making me shiver – but not from the cold. I looked down at the floor, my hands flat against the wall on either side of the showerhead, and let the water hammer down on the back of my neck. I felt like it was washing away the sins...everything I'd done, all the lives I'd ended. The dust of their smashed bodies still rested on my skin.

With a sudden flash of thought, I shoved my hand into the pocket of my drenched black jeans and ripped out my phone. I flipped it open and punched in my mom's number, sliding down the wall and listening to the incredibly loud dial tone – it was the first phone call I'd made since receiving vampire hearing.

'Hello?' The voice was so perfect, so familiar, so warm but filled with grief.

I felt tears of venom rise to my eyes, and crushed the phone between my fingers, throwing it against the wall and cracking the plaster. I looked up, letting the icy water smash down on my face and in my eyes. 'Gotta make it better,' I whispered to myself, slipping in the water as I got to my feet and turned the shower up as hot as it would go. If I couldn't wash the pain away I'd burn it away.

But the heat didn't even make me flinch. 'Let me _feel_,' I shouted, not caring who heard me. 'Let me _feel_ again!' Bloodthirst – it was all I felt now. It was all I'd felt for a year.

'You wanna come out, Riley?' Jasper's voice called through the door.

I slowly turned off the water and ran a hand through my hair, marvelling at quite how caring the Cullens were. I imagined Victoria caring about how I was feeling and snorted with laughter. There was a reason I chose to believe Edward – because I wanted to, loving Victoria was hard, harsh; I had the scars to prove it.

'You alright?' Jasper asked quietly as I opened the door and leant against the frame.

'You want an honest answer to that?'

'Edward heard your thoughts,' he handed me a freshly laundered black shirt, and I pulled it on over my soaked skin. 'He said you were feelin' rough.'

'I'm gonna be feeling rough for _months_,' I rolled my eyes.

'You don't have to,' he murmured, as I looked at the faint scar where I'd scratched my skin raw just a day ago.

'I killed them all, Jasper,' I sobbed, 'so many of them! I ripped them apart and crushed them and burnt them. I wanted to kill _you_, all of you!'

'It doesn't matter – what's done is _done_,' he caught my wrist as I turned away, 'you can't _change_ any of it! There's no point in punishing yourself for it!'

'Then what _am_ I supposed to do, Jasper? Tell me and I'll go and I'll do it! Just tell me, Jasper, what do I _do_?'

'The hardest thing in this world is to live in it,' Alice said softly, as she appeared at Jasper's side.

'Quoting TV isn't _helpful_,' I snapped.

'Look, I know, and it's hard and it's every day, but it's _living_. You've got to go on _living_.'

'I'm not living,' I said loudly to her, 'I'm _dead_. My heart doesn't _beat_, that's not living!'

'You're only as dead as the rest of us,' Jasper sighed quietly, putting his arm around Alice and looking at her with love in his eyes. Maybe there was a life in this.

And mine was just _shit_.

#

**Bella POV**

When I went around in the evening, Charlie was not impressed and threatened to take the charge out of my truck. I took the chance while he was shouting to remind him I was well old enough to leave home.

'He'll understand one day,' Edward whispered to me, kissing my forehead and my neck and my lips. 'He's had his heart broken, it's hard for him. He doesn't want the same to happen to you.'

'And how do I know you're never going to break my heart?' I smiled.

'Because, future Mrs Cullen, I will love you for all eternity with my unbeating heart and my ice cold skin.'

'Hey, Riley,' I said as brightly as I could, and Edward sighed, turning to see him walk into the room with Jasper and Alice.

'We were having a conversation,' he said a little icily.

'Public property, Eddie,' Alice laughed, and I watched as Riley smiled a little. It was an oddly handsome smile, but it didn't reach his red eyes. He ran a hand through his thick blonde hair and looked straight at me, and, involuntarily, I felt the blood rush to my face in an unmistakeable blush. I looked away with a jolt when I remembered my dream – after all, my dreams had a tendency to come true.

**So there, not my best chapter but an update nevertheless.**

**Riley will cry if you've read this far and don't review :(**

**Remember to SHINE!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okayss, this chapter was written in a rush as I'm leaving tomorrow but thought I'd leave you with one more chapter!**

**Special mentions to justareader13, for understanding my point about the other ffs and because I too wish he were real so I could give him a hug :(. Also to icecreamy, for knowing where the quote was from :P, and bean15 and Yasric Whitlock, for awesome reviews :D**

**I've tried to use a lot of the ideas posted in reviews, including chapter length :P, character survival, and relationships/conversations between characters. See if you can spot yours :P**

**This one was a bit rushed with the whole Riley/Bella thing, but I really felt like getting into the whole romance gig ;)**

**Ciao my friends, and PLEASE review.**

Chapter 4

**Riley POV**

It was with a heavy heart that I asked about the girl. 'How is she?' I asked Carlisle quietly, watching as he packed clothes into a black duffle bag.

'Who?' he replied, though of course he knew who I was talking about.

'I don't...the other one.'

'Bree?' he turned around, zipping up the bag and giving me a sad look. 'She's lucky to be alive – the Volturi don't usually give second chances. And she'll be damaged, like you, perhaps not quite as severely. She'll still be taking orders in a way, and it's easier once you're used to it. You were the head of an army, Riley, that's why all this is so hard – you don't usually have to do what other people say.'

I sat down on the brown leather sofa in Carlisle's room, watching as he collected a stack of books and added them too to the packing. His brow was a little furrowed, concerned, and I could see the worry in his eyes. 'Can I come too?' I said awkwardly.

'And why would you want to do that?' he raised his eyebrows.

I exhaled loudly. 'To say sorry. It's my fault...I...I gave her this...this _life_.'

'And I have no doubt that one day she will thank you for it. When she has met the one she loves, and they can live an eternity together. When she no longer craves human blood, like me, and can use her powers to _save_ lives. What you did, taking her life away from her, will have made her stronger. Made her be _certain_ she wants to help other people. Give them long, happy lives.'

'What if that never happens though?'

'I think it best if you don't come, Riley,' he said abruptly, looking me straight in the eye, 'perhaps when both of you are stronger, healthier, you will be able to meet again. But there's bad blood, excusing the pun.'

'Okay,' I sighed, standing up, 'well make sure the...the...'

'Denalis?' He smiled.

'That's the one. Make sure they're...looking after her and, y'know, treating her proper. Not that I have any right to say that.'

'You have every right,' he zipped up the bag again and swung it over his shoulder. 'We'll be back in less than a week.'

'Sure,' I nodded encouragingly, 'don't worry about it.'

#

'Wanna go out, Riley?' Jasper asked, snapping the book he was reading shut.

'You totally need some new clothes, we can go shopping!' Alice beamed.

'I meant _hunting_, actually,' Jasper rolled his eyes, and she shot him a reproachful look.

'Well my point still stands,' she muttered, 'seriously, the whole in-charge-of-a-newborn-army look went out _ages_ ago.'

'I _do_ need some new clothes,' I looked apologetically at Jasper and he rolled his eyes.

'No hard feelings,' Alice nudged him playfully. 'We can take Bella, her wardrobe definitely needs upgrading too.'

'Yeah, then maybe we can have another birthday party, play with matches and run with scissors,' Jasper groaned, 'hunting _or_ shopping, Alice, we don't want to end up doing both.'

'He'll be _fine_, he's been in the same room as Bella before when he was _thirsty _and not drunk from her. He's been on a healthy diet now, he'll be _fine fine fine_.'

'Um, still in the room here,' I pointed out, but Jasper was already saying:

'If Edward found _out - _'

' - He'd kill us both. But he's in _Alaska_, so if Bella _did_ die we'd have a few days to run!'

'Very funny, Alice, very funny,' Jasper smiled, pulling her to him and kissing her hair, 'call her, then,' he eventually gave in.'

'Just gonna go get my jacket,' I darted up the stairs and grabbed the leather off the stand in my room. I touched the torn thread and sighed, dragging it around my shoulders – it was the only thing left of my human life.

'I still have a dress from when I was human,' a voice said quietly from the doorway, and I spun around to see Rosalie leaning against the frame. 'I think... I think it would be easier if I let it go, but it's just... it's like as long as I have it I can still pretend I'm the old me. The human me. Stupid, I know, but...'

'It's not stupid,' I murmured, picking up a brand new I-Phone resting on the dresser. 'How did you... know... that I've had this since then?'

'I can still smell the human,' she admitted, pulling a face. 'It's hard,' she added, 'being like us. Us two. They won't ever understand how... how much you can wish you were human, that this had never happened.'

'How can they like it?' I whispered.

'Super strength has its benefits,' her smile lit up her usually dark but beautiful face. 'I'll see you later.'

'Right, yeah,' I watched as she vanished, and slid my new phone into my pocket. With a burst of realisation, I imagined walking down a street packed with people... all so warm and bloody and _fresh_. 'Shit, Riley,' I growled, knocking my head against the wall in frustration, 'cool it. You've been in Seattle before without killing anyone – that's why she chose _you_ to be in charge. You've walked past fuckin' corpses and not felt thirsty!' _But only when you'd just drunk_, an icy voice reminded me inside.

'Not gonna kill anyone, not gonna kill anyone,' I chanted as I went down the stairs and met Alice and Jasper by the door.

#

**Bella POV**

When I dozed off on the sofa, it wasn't the first sexual dream I'd had. In fact, I'd had many, making me _extremely_ glad that Edward couldn't read my mind. But this one was _different_ – it was harsher, there was less love and care, more red hot passion and force. My heart was thudding the loudest it ever had, and I felt his lips against my neck, his _teeth_. The gentle running of blood from my body as he bit softly made my back arch and my eyes widen – I'd _never_ felt like that.

'Edward, Jesus, _Christ_!'

'You can call me Riley,' he smiled, and I jerked awake, heart hammering.

'_Need to stop dreaming about Riley_,' I snarled to myself as I sprinted upstairs and dragged on a pair of jeans. Alice had called earlier to tell me we were going shopping – I never actually got a say in the matter. 'It's wrong, wrong, _wrong_.' The doorbell rang, and I swore loudly, tearing off my pyjama shirt and pulling on a red sweater, 'just coming!' I shouted, trying to push the dream from my mind. '_Make-up...make-up..._!' I had just remembered the rather chilling detail Alice had told me – Riley was going to be there. So I was putting on make-up. Why did I _care_ what he thought I looked like? The only thing he'd care about would be the smell of my blood.

'Hey!' Alice grinned as I dived out of the front door and straightened my sweater. 'Took you long enough!'

'Well _I_ don't have vampire speed!' I pulled a face as she appeared at the car door with a smirk. I strolled leisurely over to prove the point, and she rolled her eyes.

'Get in.'

'Yes ma'am,' I laughed, and she opened the door for me. I slid in beside Jasper, who knocked his knuckles against mine and grinned. 'Hey Jasper, Riley,' I nodded.

'Hey,' Riley said from the front, his voice stiff.

'How...how are you?' I asked, not one hundred percent sure that I actually wanted to know the answer.

'Great,' he replied with the same clenched jaw, as we span out of the drive and shot off down the road.

I settled back, not expecting any more of a reply, and smiled across at Jasper. 'You look good,' he said with a grin, 'and I don't feel in the slightest way that I want to attack you.'

'Well that's progress,' I beamed, 'having one vampire wanting to kill me is enough.'

'Happy to take the place,' Riley laughed, and it was a stunning laugh – filled with real laughter but also tainted with sadness. 'But I won't kill you, honestly, it's more likely to be one of the millions of people in _town_ that's gonna end up bloodless.'

'Don't worry, Riley, me and Alice are more than strong enough to handle you,' Jasper leant forwards a little. 'Newborn expert here.'

'I'm not a newborn anymore – I'm over a year old!'

'You sound like a little kid,' I giggled, and he laughed again. I was glad I was responsible for his laugh. Jesus! What the _hell_ was I thinking?

'Wow, Bella, you're really tense,' Jasper commented.

'Ya think?' I groaned, relishing it when the car pulled up and Alice darted round to open my door for me, singing "shopping, shopping, _shoppingggg_!" under her breath.

'So, where to first?' she asked enthusiastically.

'I'm actually just gonna go to the bathroom a sec,' I said, making a quick decision that I knew Alice wouldn't see. I disappeared in the direction of the public restrooms and pulled out my phone.

'Hey, Edward,' I inhaled slowly.

'Hey beautiful, is everything alright?'

'Yeah, it's great,' I said nervously.

He sounded confused – who could blame him. 'Are you sure you're alright?'

'Yeah, I just wanted to ask...how's Bree?'

'Oh, she's alright – finding it hard to adjust, but she'll manage it. And it's good to see the Denalis again.'

'Especially Tanya I bet,' I muttered.

'Hey, hey, Bella, what's wrong?'

'Look, Edward. I... I can't... marry you,' I forced myself to finish the sentence, taking another deep breath and tensing.

'We've had this conversation a thousand times, Bella.'

'I know. But this time, this is me saying... saying _no_.'

'But Bella...why?'

'Look, Edward, I've got to go, Alice is waiting. I'll call you again later. I love you.'

'Wait, Bella, you've gotta tell me why!' But I hung up, slipping my phone back into my pocket and exhaling.

'Because I think I love someone else,' I groaned, sliding slowly down the brick wall behind me and shaking my head. This could _not_ be happening. If I wasn't careful the dreams would come true and I'd end up _dead_. _Just steer clear of Riley. It's just a passing crush, when Edward gets back you'll realise how stupid you were being_! I was already planning what I was going to say to try and make him forgive me when Riley came around the corner.

'Hey, Bella, we're going to go check out the stores now. You comin'?'

He sounded so scarily like a normal teenage boy that I stood up immediately and hurried over. 'Yeah, sorry, there was a long line. And look, Riley,' I caught his arm as he turned away, and he flinched violently. 'Sorry, sorry! I just wanted to say... I forgive you for it all... and I know how hard it must be for you!'

'It's fine Bella, you have every right to _hate_ me, this is way more than I deserve.'

I shook my head, 'what happened to you wasn't fair – I get that.'

'Hey, Bella, hasn't anyone _ever_ told you that life isn't fair?' he grinned before walking back over to Alice. I smiled, trying to force the blush out of my cheeks, and waved to Alice, who was _amazingly_ already holding shopping bags.

'C'mon, Bella, we should get in before the crowds!'

'I'm coming!' I replied, running over and trying to ignore the thud of my heart as Riley's arm brushed against mine.

**Hope you liked it!**

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	5. Chapter 5

**Ok, guys, here it is! I'm SO SO SO SO SO sorry that it took this long to upload, as I just spent the last two hours writing it! I feel awful :(  
But if you're reading this I hope it means you've forgiven me, and will read this chapter!  
It's got some DarkRiley in it, to try to give you an insight more into his past.  
As usual, please please please review with ideas, kind words or critisicm, because it inspires me to write more!**

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**Remember to SHINE**

** xLSEx**

**Riley POV**

'Are you afraid?' I looked up slowly, still tasting the blood in my mouth and hearing the solid pumping of hers.

Bella narrowed her eyes, and eventually shook her head. 'No, no I'm not.'

I laughed a laugh too high-pitched to be completely my own, before reverting back to the cold tone, 'well you should be.'

'Um...sorry, I'm just not,' she whispered weakly.

'You don't know the stuff I've done,' I continued to smile, tracing a fingernail down her cheek so expertly that it just cut into the skin, and her warm blood trickled down my hand, 'stuff I've done to girls like you. You see, the secret is to know _just_ how much blood to drink,' I stepped backwards, slowly and deliberately sliding my tongue across my wrist and flinching a little as the taste of her blood hit my throat, 'so that they still scream when you - '

'I'm not scared of you!' Bella snarled through clenched teeth.

With a flash of movement too fast for her eyes to see, I darted behind her, lifting her hair softly from her shoulders and feeling her flinch violently. 'I could do it to you... it's been a while, but I bet it's like riding a bicycle. Maybe if you scream loud enough Edward will be able to hear your thoughts – bet he'd love that. Too far to come and help, but not far enough to be able to shut it out.'

'You're not evil, Riley,' she turned slowly, her eyes meeting mine, already fading back to a darkened red, 'you killed one person today...but everyone _slips_! I mean, just come home and the Cullens'll sort things out!'

'I'm already home,' I leant in close, whispering right in her ear. 'So hush little Bella don't you cry, 'cause Eddie wants your blood – and let's face it – so do I,' I bit down hard on her throat, shaking a little as the most intoxicating taste I had ever drank broke even my highest level of control, and –

I jerked out of my daydream with a choke of horror, clenching my fingers around my hair and looking up instinctively, to see Edward framed magnificently in the doorway. 'I'll fucking kill you,' he snarled, and it was only with some unknown reflex that I managed to dive out of the way in time. The table I had been sitting at flew against the wall and shattered, as several floorboards exploded into the air. Edward rolled over and stood up with the fastest movements I had ever seen.

'It was just idle thoughts!' I shouted, before shaking my head at my own idiocy and dodging him as he sped towards me. 'It didn't mean anything!' I blocked his punch and kicked him in the chest as hard as I could, sending him flying back against the wall and smashing the brickwork. '_EDWARD_!' He was in front of me in a split second, his fingers around my throat and the skin on my face starting to crack. _Not like this_, I thought, kicking his stomach and slamming my forehead into his, causing his skin to crumble a little.

'You don't deserve to live!' he was still holding my neck, and I felt my collar bone snap. 'You're murdering scum!'

'Take. A look. In. The. MIRROR!' I hurled him off me, not even noticing the appearance of six other Cullens in the doorway. Edward did not seem to have noticed either, as he leapt up and threw a marble sculpture at me at well over a hundred miles per hour. I ducked and kicked the black leather sofa towards him.

But it was stopped in the middle of the room as Alice launched herself into its path, and I felt Jasper's arms close around me. I saw Emmett grab Edward and haul him backwards, the smaller vampire still trying to reach me, but I didn't match his aim, feeling the strength ebb away and letting Jasper drag me away.

'I didn't...' I shook my head as he pushed me away from him. 'I didn't want a fight, I - '

'I know,' he looked towards the door as Alice strolled in and smiled. 'Interesting look,' he raised his eyebrows.

'Huh? Hey, you alright?' she darted over to me and touched the cracks on my face.

'I'm fine,' I drew away from her and sat down on the red sofa behind me, linking my fingers together and resting my elbows on my knees in an attempt to stop them shaking.

'I'm going to go and check on Edward,' Jasper nodded to Alice, vanishing from the room and leaving an echoing silence behind him.

I closed my eyes and breathed in slowly, feeling my lungs expanding without any use. _Try to stay calm_, I thought, bringing shaking hands up to my face and clenching my fingers around my hair. 'Fuck _you_ Riley,' I snarled, 'can't even stay in con_trol_!'

'Riley, stop it,' Alice whispered, appearing by my side without a sound and sitting down silently. 'Riley, that's _enough_,' she tugged my hands away, and I dropped them limply to my sides, my body shuddering with tearless sobs. 'It's gonna be okay,' she pulled my head to her shoulder and held it in her hands, gently stroking my hair, 'soon everything'll be okay.'

'You know what I did,' I stammered, clutching her hands, 'they'll kill me, they'll _kill_ me!'

'No, Riley, no they _won't_!' she assured pointlessly, as I sank further down into the sofa, blinking my flaming red eyes. 'We all slip up!'

'Not me,' I shook my head, my voice oddly blank, 'I don't slip up. Ever. I'm _Riley_, that's why she chose me! Because I _don't_ screw up!'

'Everyone screws up,' she murmured, 'the others won't mind! There's no evidence to link us to it or anything. It's just another killing! I mean seriously, you should've seen Emmett and Jasper for the first couple of months of...er... vegetarianism... you're doing incredibly well! Besides, it was my fault, I shouldn't have made you come out today.'

'If you hadn't have got to me as fast as you did, I could've wiped out everyone in that store.'

'I know,' she brushed her fingers along the healing cracks, 'but it was only one girl, and it was an _accident_.'

'I wonder if her parents know yet,' I looked up into her eyes.

'Stop torturing yourself!'

'Alice?'

'What?' she seemed a little pleased at the sudden change of tone.

'Did you ever... no, it doesn't matter.' I looked away and chewed at my fingernails.

She caught my chin and turned my face back to hers. 'It does. What were you gonna ask?'

'I was just gonna ask – did you ever...when you were human...did you ever cry yourself to sleep?'

'I...I don't remember – being human, I mean,' she whispered awkwardly, 'but, probably I guess. Why?'

'That's what I miss most, about being human. When bad stuff happened, you could just...close your eyes and fall asleep and forget about it for a few hours. You could dream of amazing worlds and impossible places. We'll never be able to do that again. We're just stuck in reality. And I used to be able to kill so many people 'cause I used to think "if you kill this one, you'll get to be human again", it was so stupid but it _worked_.'

'It's not stupid,' she sighed, 'you did what you had to, to block it out. I would have done the same. But you know it's not gonna happen, Riley,' she shook her head, 'we can't ever be human again. And that's why we have to fight the _good _fight, not kill humans and do our best to be _normal_, because it's the only way we can make up for the people we've killed.'

'And what happens then? Eventually we get killed, and then what? We go to hell and suffer eternal torment? 'Cause you know what, right now I'd rather be _there_, I'll take fire and chains and pain over this feeling right now. I want to die.'

'Well boo-hoo!' she stood up, 'if you believe in God and hell and whatever, then think for a _second_! He chose this for you because he knew that _you_ and you _alone_ were strong enough to deal! He chose this for you as a test, just like everyone else – so yeah, maybe yours is a level higher than Jessica Stanley's or – or Charlie Swan's, but that just means that there's a higher grade on offer! So grow up and _get over it_!'

I gaped at her, as she exhaled slowly.

'Sorry about that,' she grimaced, 'forgive me?'

'No, you're right,' I stood up and bit my lip, 'I need to go talk to Edward.'

'I don't know,' she caught my arm, 'whatever went on between you two, he was _pretty_ angry!'

'I'll be fine,' I walked out of the room, pushing open the drawing room door and finding Edward, to my surprise, alone.

'I'm sorry,' he said, without looking up.

'For what? For trying to stop me from hurting the one thing you care about most? I would've done the same. But that daydream, it was just that, a dream, it didn't mean _anything_.'

'But it did,' he picked at his nails, 'you don't see it. I know before you do. Because I can hear those thoughts that your mind ignores, the ones you block out. And you know what, she might feel the same way about you, but I can't risk you hurting her.'

'Feel what?' I shook my head, 'I don't _feel_ anything. She's just a human like any other, and I want to drink her blood and kill her! It's _true_.'

'You know, blood's a powerful aphrodisiac,' he laughed, 'it's like God's throwing everything he can at us to see if we can make it through. And if you were about to kill Bella, you wouldn't just...just _kill_ her, you'd...' he shook his head, 'after all, like you said, you know just how to do it perfectly.'

'I'd never hurt Bella. I wouldn't have the self control to - '

'It's a rocky road to redemption,' he cut me off.

'Think we can make it?' I said weakly.

'We might,' he shrugged, standing up and walking over to me. 'But believe me, Riley, if you ever so much as look at her in the wrong way, I _will_ kill you.'

'I know,' I nodded, 'I'd want you to.'

'Then we have a deal,' he held out a hand.

'I guess we do,' I smiled, unable to look him in the eyes. And I knew, as I shook his hand, that his prediction had a huge chance of coming true.

**Go onnn, review! The more reviews, the faster the updates!**


	6. Chapter 6

**I don't think I've ever been so sorry for a late update :(**

**I had a computer virus (picked up from watching the Vampire Diaries online - serves me right for that blasphemy), and it wiped off 762 documents from my computer, as well as rendering the harddrive completely unusable. It also infected my USB stick so I lost literally EVERYTHING (including all 80,000 words of my book and the stories I used to write back when I was about five). It's been like losing a child :( A huge emotional blow**

**This has been written on a crappy old laptop without any editting, as I had limited time to use it, so it might be really terrible, and I just pray you guys understand and bear with me xxx**

**Try to enjoy ;)**

Chapter 6

Bella POV

I woke with a slight gasp, resultant of some unremembered dream, and stepped out onto the rough carpet of my room with reluctance. It was a cold morning, and condensation coated my window; there was no rain, just icy frost and a certain damp hint to the air.

It was September – what should be the first day of college, but instead I was going to the Cullens' house. Again. I was jobless, without an education, and with a denied marriage proposal. My life was suddenly everything that Charlie had been dreading – without a future. Or so he thought.

I pulled on a pair of old jeans and a blue blouse, no longer bothering to try and look my best when I went round to the Cullens' – they had seen me covered in blood, wishing for death, soaking wet, totally exhausted, _asleep_… chances are they weren't going to care if I was make-upless. 'Hey Riley,' I grinned down my I-Phone when he answered. 'How are you today?'

'Er…fine,' he said, sounding extremely confused. 'Not to sound…y'know…rude, but why are you calling me? I didn't even know you had my phone number…'

'Oh Alice gave it to me,' I said as I collected the keys of my Chevy and waved to Charlie, who was reading the morning paper with a disgruntled expression. 'She said it might be good for you to talk to humans sometimes, 'cause it might…y'know… remind you a bit that the world is still a _little_ bit normal!'

'Y'know…this conversation is just turning into a lot of "y'know"s!' he sounded like an ordinary teenager – I could barely believe that he was a vampire in the worst type of pain.

I laughed, reversing out of the front drive and setting off down the winding lanes of Forks. 'I just wanted to ask, is Edward there?'

'No…he went out hunting,' I could hear an awkward tone to his voice. 'He should be back soon – he doesn't like to leave the place for too long when you're…y'know… on the planet. There I go again with the "y'know"s!'

'Don't worry,' I giggled, 'well I'm on my way, so I'll just have to hang with you guys for a while until he comes back.'

'Not sure Edward would like that.'

'Well he'll have to deal,' I rolled my eyes, turning up the stereo in my car. It always reminded me of that fateful birthday, but the echoing of Bon Jovi pushed the thought from my mind. 'I'll see you in a minute!'

'You shouldn't drive with such loud music!' he half shouted down the phone, and I simply laughed, cancelling the call and closing both of my hands around the wheel. 'WE'RE HALFWAY THERE, WHOAAWE'RE LIVING ON A PRAYER!' I sang at full volume, purely to try and distract myself from the thought of having to see Edward for the first time since I had told him I wouldn't marry him.

'That should be a fun conversation,' I muttered to myself, dreading the coming minutes as I arrived in the Cullens' drive and cut the ignition. The music continued, and I wondered how loud it would sound to the vampires inside the house. With a last heavy sigh I opened the door and stepped outside into the misty air, where the first few drops of rain were starting to fall. Alice opened the front door before I reached it, with a beaming smile.

She moved aside to let me in before starting. 'So you called _Riley_, eh? I can read you like a book Bella! You're totally _into_ him!'

'What the _hell_ Alice?' I gaped at her, shaking my head with incredulity and stalking moodily into the living room. 'You're the one that gave me his number! I was just checking whether he was okay, and if Edward was here!'

'And you changed your mind about marrying Edward just out of the blue for no reason, eh?' she raised her eyebrows with an infuriatingly knowing look.

'I'd already said no about fifty times, Alice.'

'Yeah, but never _no_ no. Not like that. Besides, you told him it was because you liked someone else! He told me.'

'I needed an excuse,' I shrugged, biting my lip and collapsing back onto the black leather sofa. 'I didn't come here to be attacked.' But I knew I had no choice when Jasper walked into the room and I was filled with a gooey spill-all-your-secrets feeling. 'Okay, I thought for a second that he was kinda cute. So I went crazy, 'cause I've never found anyone _physically_ attractive since Edward! I freaked, cancelled the semi-engagement and started to get a bit edgy. But it was nothing more than that – I just thought he was _cute_.'

'Sure you did,' Alice grinned, linking her arm through Jasper's and walking out of the room with a wink.

I huffed, grabbing the remote of their television and praying that Edward would be back from hunting soon. '_Riley_!' I almost jumped out of my skin as I looked up and saw him standing in the doorway. 'I was just gonna…watch some TV…'

He took several slow, steady steps over to me, his jaw clenched. 'I can do it now,' he said calmly, inhaling deeply. 'I can do it _again_.'

'Do what?' I winced.

'Be near a human. It was just a slip the other day…just a stupid slip.'

I stood up and raised my fingers to touch the cool white skin of his cheek. 'You bit a person?'

He caught my fingers between his in a grip so strong that it hurt, and I bit down on my lip so hard that I drew blood. 'Sorry,' he cringed, letting go and running his hand through his hair. 'I just…'

'Don't say anything,' I touched my finger to his lips, and he flinched away, knocking my hand with a crack. '_OW_!' I clutched the hand in my other. 'I think you broke something!'

'I'm so sorry! Oh God, oh _God_!' e looked around desperately.

'No, no wait,' I flexed each of my fingers. 'It might just be a sprain…'

'God I'm sorry,' he brushed a tear away from my cheek with gentle fingers – so careful not to hurt me.

'Don't be,' I whispered, and I touched the tips of his hair with my injured hand, ignoring his tense as I pulled his head down to mine. The kiss was nothing I had ever felt before – it was so tender…like he was holding a fragile little dragonfly between his finger and thumb. It lasted less that a second, but it was as though my lips had been moulded from the second I was born to fit nothing else but his – like key to lock, like the last two pieces of a puzzle.

It was the sudden rush of power that made me pull away with wide eyes. There was a drop of blood from my lip on his, and he traced it away with his finger, taking several hasty steps backwards. 'What was that?' he said with eyes as wide as my own.

'It was nothing, _nothing_!' I stammered.

'Not the kiss… the bit at the end. Did you feel it too?'

'No,' I shook my head rapidly, 'I didn't feel _anything_. Edward will be back in a minute! I should leave, I can't see him after that.'

'Don't be stupid. I'll go,' he vanished without waiting for my answer, and I looked down at the TV remote, resting where I had dropped it on the floor. I had cheated on Edward… _cheated_.

'Who died?' a familiar voice said from the doorway, and I turned to see Emmett looking at my horrified face with confusion.

'Nothing, no one!' I replied too quickly, not even realising that he was joking. 'Sorry…I just feel a bit tense.'

'I reckon we all do at the minute! I mean, having a rogue vampire in the place is a bit crazy if you ask me. I think Riley's great, I don't hate the guy, but like…he tried to _kill_ us.'

'It's not Riley. Riley's…fine. I'm just nervous about seeing Edward.'

'I don't get what the big deal is,' Emmett laughed, stretching and turning at the click of the front door opening. 'I mean, you've said no a million times.'

Again, I did not have time to reply before he had gone. _Bloody vampires_, I thought with anger, almost falling over when I saw Edward. He was still as perfect as I remembered him – the ultimate being.

I ran over and kissed him as strongly as I could, but there was no fire – the kiss with Riley had shown me something new, and even when Edward pulled me closer I felt cold and empty. 'I love you,' I whispered as he pressed his lips to my forehead, 'I'm sorry I said what I said…I didn't…didn't mean it…'

'Don't worry Bella. I can wait…everything is your choice.'

_And I don't want to choose_, I thought as I turned away from him.

Riley POV

I was lying back on the cool floor of the bathroom, my eyes staring unseeingly at the ceiling. It was as thought the world was spinning, and the slight level of control that I had managed to collect had vanished in a split second, and the face of every single person I had killed was flashing through my mind – some of them had started with a kiss. Human girls were easy to entangle in your web, so filled with vanity and a wish of nothing more than to be loved.

The glaring lights above me taunted my eyes, shining right back into my mind. My eyes could feel nothing but my brain ached dully. An echoing rush still rang around my ears and the two hours I had spent walking around the forest had done nothing to ease the tension in every particle of my body.

I had returned as soon as Bella had left, knowing that I could not avoid Edward forever, but he had not yet made his way up the stairs to come and kill me, as I knew he would. Why because he had promised that he would. And I didn't blame him – after all, I would have done the same to somebody who stole everything that I depended on.

I tapped my fingers on the white marble floor, each nail striking the cold surface in perfect time, and the sound was magnified a thousand times by my vampire hearing – almost as bad as the many voice that I could hear coming from downstairs. Alice… Emmett… Jasper… _Edward_. My name was staying nice and out of the conversation, to my surprise, and I realised with a sickening sink of the stomach and Edward would do it without telling them. He was going to try and save their memory of me. And I didn't want that, I wanted everyone to know what I had done to deserve what I was going to get.

The gentle sound of vampire steps met my ears, and I sat up, running both of my hands through my hair and moving to open the bathroom door. Edward was framed magnificently in my doorway, and I could have collapsed with sudden fear. I didn't want to die. Instinct almost took over, as I looked at the window as my only exit, but I forced myself to stay rooted to the spot – I wasn't that much of a coward.

'Riley,' he said quietly, and had it been able to beat, I would have choked as my heart leapt to my throat.

'Edward…' the drama of the moment would have, had the situation not been so grave, made me laugh.

'What did you _do_?' and there was just curiosity in his voice – no threat.

Taken off-guard by the tone, I took a calculated step forwards, my eyes narrowing to thin slits. 'What do you…mean?'

'I can't…I can't read your _thoughts_!'

'You _what_?' I gaped.

'There's just nothing – it's like when I'm with Bella…it's just empty.'

'Oh cheers!' I forced a laugh.

'I don't think it's funny… something must of _happened_. Do you remember anything strange?'

'Er…no.' I shook my head, 'no idea. I feel just the same as usual.' The numbness in my limbs said otherwise. 'Have you tried, y'know, _hearing_ anyone else?'

'Everyone else is fine. It's just _you_.'

'Nice to know my thoughts are private for once,' I mused falsely. Nice. _Nice_. It was certainly more than that – I had kissed Bella, and I wasn't going to die for it! 'Have you asked Carlisle, he tends to be good at that sort of thing?'

'I'll go now,' he gave me a cold, calculating look before stalking away, and I exhaled slowly. I was going to live to see another day. But there were certainly things to be done, and I used the window exit at a quick run to reach the end of the long drive before pulling out my phone and finding my call list. I hit the redial on Bella's number and waited while it rang agonisingly.

'Hello?'

'Bella, we need to talk.'

**Pleasseeeee review! Please please pleaseee cheer me up after the virus chaos :(**

**JK,not trying to cheat you into reviewing ;) but they are an incentive to write more, so if you want updates, _review_!**


	7. Chapter 7

**So I actually updated.**

**I'm a cruel, cruel person, and probably no one will even read this because I was so mean and didn't update for AGES**

**But if you do, I hope you enjoy it. I'm undecided on it :P**

**As ever, pleaseeeee review!**

**Xx M xX**

Chapter 7

**Riley POV**

It had been an inconclusive conversation.

To be honest, I didn't even have the energy to think about it. Since coming of the human blood, I had felt exhausted permanently, and it scared me knowing that if I got into a fight now, I might just lose it. For the first time since becoming a vampire, I felt weak.

I stood up, jumping from the second floor window and landing on the ground with barely a sound. Since Edward's sudden powerlessness, I didn't particularly want to come in to contact with any of the Cullens, who would no doubt start asking questions that I really didn't want to answer. A part of me wanted to just leave – what if I lost this… blocking ability, and Edward could read my mind again – I'd be well and truly screwed.

Once upon a time it would have taken me half an hour to drive to Seattle from Forks, but since becoming what I was I could run there in a few minutes. No that it was ever a problem before, since I lived there, but the speed wasn't something I regretted about being a vampire.

I wasn't sure what it was about the events of the last few hours that made me decide to go back, but it suddenly seemed like a preferable option to staying in Forks – at least now I'd be able to get some sort of closure.

I stopped at the end of my street, bending down and picking up a scrap of paper from the floor. It was so wet that it was thin and translucent, and almost fell apart in my hand, but I could still see half of the word "missing" and the corner of a photo I recognised from our mantelpiece. I'd seen the posters before, but never before in a position when I actually cared about them, when it made the breath hitch in my throat.

It was a strange thing, I thought, as I walked slowly down the road. Strange that almost all of the vampires I had ever known continued breathing, despite it not being necessary. Perhaps it was something to do with clinging onto any humanity you had left.

I stopped outside their house, and noticed absentmindedly that I had started to rain.

Yet another thing that changed when you became a vampire; you were suddenly so solid that you could barely feel the rain against your skin anymore.

I couldn't be sure how long I stood there. It could have been minutes, or it could have been hours. In my new state, time was much less linear – hours could last seconds, and minutes days.

The house that I was waiting outside wasn't the house that I had grown up in. I'd burnt that one to the ground. But luckily they hadn't move far, a few houses down in the same street, and my new found sense of smell told me exactly where to go.

Unsure whether the Cullens would agree with me spilling our secret to humans, I felt almost guilty as I opened the gate quietly and made my way down to the front door. They'd told Bella, after all, but apart from that I was pretty sure no humans knew about them. _Oh well_, I thought darkly to myself, _this is my problem, not theirs._

I remembered when I'd tried to call my mom, soon after I'd gone back to the Cullens'. Would this be a similar incident? Would I freak and bolt at the last minute.

Would they notice, at first, that I hadn't aged in the last few months?

I swallowed.

There were a few seconds before my mom answered my knock on the door, a few seconds in which the idea of running seemed like the best thing in the world.

But I stayed, and then she saw me.

'Oh my God, Riley,' she threw her arms around me, and I tried to ignore the pounding of blood in her neck. It was almost a dizzying sensation being close to her like that, just as it was when I was near Bella. I'd never felt like that near humans before, at least not that I could remember. I supposed that someone starving to death would feel the same way about food.

'Where have you been?' There were tears in her eyes.

I was glad that the traditional rule of having to be invited in wasn't true in reality, because I wanted to be well over the threshold and in the living room before I started telling her where I _had_ been.

'It's a long story,' I had to bite my lip to stop tears from rising to my own eyes.

'I should call your father… and the police and… and… where have you been, Riley?'

'Mom you can't call the police,' I looked around the house, taking in the photos of myself on the mantelpiece. 'You just have to promise me that you won't call the police.'

She looked aghast, clearly thinking that I had become embroiled in some sort of gang culture, and that I was a criminal or a fugitive. The truth, I couldn't help but feel, was much, much worse.

She started to cry even more when I told her, and then she said the one thing that I hadn't expected, hadn't even considered. '_Get out_!'

'What?'

She held out the crucifix from around her neck as though it would repel me. 'You're not my son!'

'Yes I am mom, I'm exactly the same! I'm still Riley!'

'Riley would never have killed all those people. No, I've heard enough about your kind, you're a soulless demon and nothing else, and you've taken my son away from me, so _get out_!'

'Mom!' I shouted, 'it's _me_!'

'Just… just please,' she shook her head, 'just leave. I don't want your – I don't want Riley's father to have to see you like this. He's better off thinking you're _dead_!'

'What?' I had never felt so utterly destroyed. This was the moment that I had been planning for so long, and it was crashing and burning. It was supposed to be like one of those reunions you see on TV, but instead it was the worst time of my life.

I didn't bother to argue anymore, I just ran. Just like I should have done earlier. I should've known that she would react like this – a devout Catholic like her would never be able to accept me like this. And why should she? She was right, I wasn't the Riley I was before.

I went to the first place that came into my head – one of Victoria's old haunts.

I leant heavily against the wall of the back alley, trying to pretend that the last hour hadn't happened. The problem with being a vampire was that you couldn't wake up from any nightmares – everything was completely real.

'You alright there?' A police officer peered down the alley at me.

'I'm fine,' I turned around with a smile, and even from such a long distance I could hear the blood moving sluggishly around his body. I wondered whether I should warn him that he had a weak heart. I also wondered whether I should grab him before anyone would see, rip his throat out, and turn into the monster that I had been a month ago. 'I'm fine,' I repeated, and he shrugged and strolled away.

The worst thing about it was that if I had killed him, he'd have just been another person to add to the body count of this alleyway. It had been a prime spot for killing – not changing, just feeding.

I killed the wall, and the bricks crunched under the impact, making the building itself groan ominously. Swearing, I stepped away from it, reminding myself that things as simple as touching something could end in disaster.

Sighing heavily, I pulled out my phone and tapped in Bella's number.

'Riley,' she sounded like she was smiling.

'Hey, Bella,' I made my way out of the alleyway and back onto the street, trying not to breathe and let in the smell of the people I kept bumping in to. 'Are you at home?'

'Yeah, Charlie just went out fishing with some friends. Did you want to come over? I suppose it might be a good idea to talk about what happened… y'know, in person.'

'I was just gonna ask if I could come over anyway,' I broke into a run once I was back in a side street. Glad that my sense of direction had improved since becoming a vampire, and that finding my way back to Forks would be easy.

'It probably is best.'

'This day has kind of gone downhill,' I said slowly – _understatement. _

'Riley, what's happened?'

'I don't really want to talk about it,' and then I sighed, 'I went to see my mom.'

'Oh my God,' I could imagine her face gaping down the phone. 'What did she say?'

'She freaked, chased me out of the house with a crucifix, told me never to come back. It was good times, honestly.'

'Oh Riley I'm so sorry,' she was the first person ever to say that to me and actually sound genuine, and not like she was talking to a very slow child.

'I'm fine,' I lied, 'look, I'll be back in Forks soon and I don't want to spoil the whole story, so I'll see you in a minute, yeah?'

'Riley you don't have to - ' but I'd already hung up.

**There you have it, a nice, shiny new update.**

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	8. Chapter 8

**I have shocked even myself with the fact that I have finally updated**

**Once again I apologise profusely :(**

**This chapter is a strange one - I hate the first half, and like the second half, so do read on.**

**Bella is very OOC, but only because she's too annoying in the books and needed to be a little bit more headstrong for my own literary purposes**

**PLEASE read and review, and I will try to update soon!**

**Most of all, don't forget to SHINE xx**

Chapter 8

**Riley POV**

I changed my mind on the outskirts of the city, backtracking and finding the nicest car that I could.

It wasn't difficult to make it start – back in my human days I'd watched a sixty second hot-wiring-for-dummies video, and since then I'd been a criminal extraordinaire.

I drove around the city in circles, regularly finding myself stuck in traffic and taking the time to run over the events of the day in my head.

One positive was that Edward hadn't killed me – that had definitely been a bonus after I'd kissed his girlfriend. And Bella clearly felt something for me, though denying it to herself. Did I really feel anything for her?

Remembering that she'd probably be waiting for me, I took a detour back to Forks, pulling up outside her house and leaning back into the car seat.

The door was thrown open, and she ran down the front path to the car, opening the passenger seat door and climbing in. 'Where'd you find the car?' she said, with a knowing look.

'I'm going to return it,' I sighed.

'Riley... I'm so sorry about your mom.'

'It doesn't matter,' I said.

There was an awkward pause. 'Well, are you going to drive?'

'Right,' I reversed back out, not sure where she'd want us to go. I decided on taking the scenic tour around Forks.

After about half an hour I realised that this was getting completely pointless. 'Bella, I'm pretty sure there's no point in us driving to the middle of a forest for the view.'

'No, I suppose there isn't.'

'I'm sorry I kissed you.'

'I kissed you back.'

Another awkward silence.

'Why do you think Edward can't hear your thoughts anymore?'

'Well I'd hazard a guess at it being something to do with you – something to do with the fact that we kissed. Since you're the only person we've ever known who can hide their thoughts from him, that would seem the obvious answer.'

'But I've kissed Jacob... and Edward can still read his mind.'

'Maybe it doesn't work on werewolves,' I sighed, knowing that I was clutching at straws.

More silence.

'Is this how it's going to be now? We can't even talk to each other,' Bella said after a while.

'Look, Bella, all I am is... is a piece of _scum_ who tried to kill you and the Cullens. I _can't _be responsible for you breaking up with Edward too, and I sure as hell don't deserve anything better than hatred from you.'

'Oh will you stop acting like the world is _against _you? For God's sake, you screwed up, we get it, but you didn't _know_ any other way. You were just obeying orders. And the whole family has ground to a halt to try and help you, but all you're - '

I couldn't stop myself from silencing her with a kiss.

It was less gentle than the first, and it only took her a split second of surprise before she started kissing me back, almost as strongly. I could taste strawberry on her lips, and I could feel the beating of her heart more intensely than ever before.

All of that, and I could feel her fingers at my shirt, lifting it caress the skin underneath. Her fingers were so warm to the touch, so tender and so soft – the opposite to my whole being. The juxtaposition was enticing, _intense_.

'No,' I said, drawing away.

Bella looked, of all emotions, _offended_. 'Riley... did I do something wrong?'

'No,' I almost laughed, 'no, you were doing too much _right_. I'm not Edward, I don't have his _restraint_.'

'I trust you.'

'Well then you're screwed.'

And once again we dissolved into that strained silence.

'I'm not gonna go behind Edward's back – not after everything that the Cullens have done for me.'

'Then we'll tell him,' she whispered.

'You're kidding right? He warned me that if I ever so much as looked at you in that way he'd kill me. Somehow, I imagine me stealing his fiancée wouldn't go down too well.'

'I'm not his fiancée,' she rolled her eyes, 'I never actually said yes.'

'Look, Bella, this is lust. _Lust_. We've known each other for no _time_, nowhere near long enough to fall in love. And you _love_ Edward. Don't throw away something perfect for something temporary.'

'Temporary?' Bella snorted. 'This is _temporary_?'

'Bella, I - '

'And don't you dare tell me it's _lust_. I think I know my own emotions a damn sight better than you do!' she got out of the car.

'Bella, where are you _going_?' I followed her, not caring that I was leaving a car in the middle of the only road through the forest.

'Anywhere that doesn't house you!'

'You're in the middle of the woods, let me take you _home_!'

'Don't you dare touch me,' she hissed, stumbling down into the trees.

I didn't have much of a choice but to follow her. 'Bella, I'm just trying to make a decision that's best for everyone!'

'How about, just for once, we don't do what's best for everyone, and we do what's best for _Bella_!'

'Look, Bella, just marry Edward and forget about me. That way you both get to be happy, and I don't kill you.'

Before I could comprehend what she was doing, she'd snatched up a rock from the ground and cut a firm line down her forearm.

'What the _hell_!' I shouted, staggering backwards as the scent of her blood hit me.

'See, you can resist me!'

'Are you _mental_?' I glared, not breathing and trying to ignore the red lines seeping across my vision. To my surprise, my head started to clear; I'd never been so focused on ignoring blood, and it seemed to be working.

'See, Riley? You're fine. We're fine.'

I shook my head, though every part of me wanted to nod and move in to kiss her again. 'No we're not. Now can you get back in the car, or I'll have to carry you home.'

'You'll just have to come right on over here and carry me then.'

I looked down with a heavy sigh, and was over but her side in a split second, hoisting her into a bridal lift and starting off at a run.

I stopped on the edge of the woods, looking into her eyes and searching them for fear. Instead, she looked perfectly comfortable.

'Oh for God's sake,' I muttered, before giving in to myself and kissing her again.

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